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"I am just a Pinterest Fail"

"Oh, look at her hair. Man! See, that's what mine was supposed to look like." I whined to my husband. "And look at her makeup and outfit", I continued, "So polished. Why can't I look more put together like her? See, I am basically just a Pinterest fail."

My husband and I laughed at my announcement, and of course he was full of kind remarks to counter my statement. But, as the conversation moved to things of more important matters, I kept hearing the truth of what haunted me in my mind, I REALLY do feel like my life is a Pinterest fail.

So close, and yet, not quite. Hair looks good, but then I see her and comparison sets in. Cooked my kids a nice meal only to take a quick scroll through social media and realize someone is doing it better. Post a word of encouragement with vigor and excitement, only to hear a podcast that seemingly says it better.

"Will I ever be good enough?"

"Will there always be someone whose resume outshines mine?"

I have battled this dance with comparison my whole life. Feeling like I constantly live in the shadow of someone else doing it better – even if it just means they show up with a more pleasant and bubbly personality. It doesn't matter how hard I try, or how much I seem to grow and change, I inevitably always find someone whose light shines a little brighter.

Anyone else live here? Or is it just me believing the lie I am a Pinterest fail?

This summer, as I was scrolling through a particularly high fashioned and "oh so savvy" social media account, I could feel my self-esteem quickly depleting, leaving me feeling flawed and useless. In that moment I actually had the audacity to ask God:

"Why can't you make me a little bit more like her? I KNOW you could do this. Just give me a little more sparkle. A better understanding of hair and makeup and fashion. A little more charisma. Something!?"

And I felt God's simple reply in return was this:

"Sure, I can make you like her. I am the God of impossible. But if I do, you will miss all the women that I put you here to reach. You will miss all the everyday, simple moms and wives just like yourself that feel less than and bland. I can do this, but then you miss "her", the one I put you here for."

I can assure you that my knees hit the floor faster than the tears came to my eyes. I immediately repented for my insanity and thanked God for making me just as I am. I knew then and there that I would give up every single thing this world calls beautiful if it meant I could reach the women around me who feel like a Pinterest fail too.

And as God continues to walk me into various seasons and bring me to women in lonely and forgotten places, He has reminded my heart of the conversation we had this summer. And I realize once again, with certainty, why He made me exactly the way He did. Because the women He has surrounded me with and called me to, do not need a Kim Kardashian body, they don't need a theology degree, or my resume list of mothering skills. They just need hope. They need a woman with a story of God's grace and redemption wrapped in mercy and peace. They need the story God has given me to share and no amount of Pinterest fail life moments can take that away from me. In fact, every fail actually prepares me for it.

And these truths are the same for you. Take a moment to consider the parts of your life that feel like a Pinterest fail. Maybe it’s your marriage? Career? Parenting? The weight on the scale this morning? The anxiety that's been haunting you your whole life? The truth God would have you know is that none of these define you. We are not the sum of the labels this life so easily gives us. And the diamond in the ruff is the realization that all those things that we see as hindrances to being used, are exactly what God wants to use to minister to the people around Him. Yes, even our biggest Pinterest fail moments. This world doesn’t need our perfection, it need someone with the audacity to attests to the highs and lows of life so others can know they aren’t as alone as they think they are.

God doesn't make mistakes. He didn't mess up when He made our eyes brown instead of blue. And wishing this away will only distract us from realizing what an incredible gift every part of our story is to the Kingdom of God if we will but trust Him to show us why He specifically gave them to us.

So... if you think about it, maybe we aren't a Pinterest fail after all. Maybe we are Princesses in the eyes of our King who sees every ounce of us and calls it good, not flawed. And graciously invites us to show up as we are so we can have the exact impact on the people around us He always intended.

Pinterest fail, princess, all wrapped up for one big purpose, to share the love of Jesus wherever we go.

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